another day in lawschool

In came the Assistant Solicitor General, the queen, all garbed in majestic mocha and dark gold dress with matching shawl, in the center of which is a multi-stoned floral brooch. Along with her came silence, terror and despair.

I was sitting on the edge of my seat for over forty minutes, which seemed endless, infinite, eternal… one by one, names were being called out for judgment… one single question… the fall of mankind…

"What are the powers of the Ombudsman according to the Constitution?"

"St. Jude, help me!" I prayed.

Ten-fold fell and died defending their honor. Brave men and women who were struck down like flies.

Then came a prophetess who held in her blessed tongue and brain the magic words that could calm the storm. The question came to pass. For a moment.

"What are the powers of the Ombudsman as enumerated under Republic Act 6770?"

The rage of devils suddenly came rushing… pages turning, trying to sink in whatever word, phrase, syllable --- in verbatim --- that can be inserted into our weary and decomposing brains… that chanted pleadingly… "No More! No More!"

A few more died for our sake.

The third wave struck.

"What are the exceptions to the prosecutory powers of the Ombudsman?"

"Rommel!"

In a millisecond I stood up, all blood in my body came rushing into my head. My body is warm… no, it is fire-hot.

I was no longer praying solely to St. Jude. But to God, Buddha, Allah and Kwan-Yin, the goddess of mercy.

"Uhm, the exceptions to the prosecutory powers of the Ombudsman are…"

Pause.

"Those officers who can be only removed by impeachment, like the President, the Chief Justice…. Errr… the President…. Uhm…"

Another pause.

"The Members of Congress and the Judiciary."

I survived the first blow.

"What else?"

My mind was scrambling for the answer… but it did not came about so easily, until the majestic queen spoke in a regal tone… "Those election cases, they are not under the jurisdiction of the Ombudsman. They are under…?"

"The COMELEC ma'am."

Damn COMELEC. Stupid Me.

Then the third blow struck… the fourth, and the fifth…

"Under what power of the Ombudsman this… under what power that…"

Underneath my breath I was praying that someone hand me over the short sword so that I may commence the ritual disembowelment and die an honorable death.

Scrambling from my memory all the relics of mixed up words, phrases, paragraphs, provisions and pages… a few words, though incoherent they might have sounded to me… saved my ass.

I sat down almost teary eyed. I'm alive!!!

I lived to die for another day.

It was my first recitation in Administrative Law.