Ok, instead of studying and drowning myself in law books in the interim, I must and is compelled to share my thoughts of the recent events in my life. In my domestic life, that is.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly for the past few weeks. I did my part, I did my best, but some things are not really within one's power, influence or control, much less that I could do. Seemed like I fought the Goliath-Hydra Hybrid, it keeps on growing new heads each time you cut one off or hit the forehead with a bullet. Politics. Influence. Money. It keeps the world moving. Sad to say, we lost ours as our patriarch slowly sinks into oblivion. New Politics. New Money. New Influence. Bigger, better. But so far, none of those we have now. Many of the who's who have gone to the other world. Especially our greatest weapon Atty. Victor Paez, my Lolo Etong, who definitely is one of those who inspired me, and an implied command came from him every time we saw each other, that I should continue on with the legal profession. God rest his kind soul. He was my grandfather's brother-in-law and best friend.

Though we are not having any major financial difficulty, (trust me, we have money), it's just the psychological effects that bother me. I have been living this lifestyle for the rest of my known life. Feels like one leg was paralyzed. This time, both were torn apart. For my part, I know I will survive this. I will live through it. I am entitled to everything demandable I can think of. But be that as it may, it is my grandparents whom I'm especially worried about. Most of their lives revolved around this lifestyle. It was simple, yes, but lucrative. It has been with us for the last century. We were gods among men (okay, this is an exaggeration), though what I really meant is, this is an institution. A pioneered worked. Passed on for four generations, including mine. You just cannot let go of something as precious as that. It felt like losing your identity.

They have been trying to resolve this one, but the other side simply cannot wait. Now everything just does not seem right. We on the other hand, are waiting for our side to move. But I am proud that in the meantime, we are enduring. There are more important things in this life aside from those things. Family is the most important thing. I wouldn't dare exchange it for anything else. I have to admit, and I must confess that the truism that faith and love strengthens family ties. For my part, I have seen more than my previous glimpse of what love is. I have known what real faith is. Blind is openness. Illogical is reasonable. And then there is karma. The one law that you can rely on when human law could no longer remedy your problems. There is also pride, honor and dignity. This, we treasure most above all else.

And just last Tuesday, this HR woman from San Miguel Corporation Polo, Valenzuela Office, called me up, stating categorically that I am scheduled for an examination on Friday. I was amused and offended at the same time. Thanks to my training and stoicism I did not say "HOW DARE YOU!"

Yes, you might think I am stupid, idiotic or moronic for passing this opportunity of a lifetime. Palay na ang lumalapit sa manok. Napakalaking palay. But I have my reasons.

First, it was presumptive of her that I WILL take the entrance exams. It was offending for someone my caliber. It was not an inquiring statement, it was declarative, if not imperative. So, umandar ang pagiging lawyer ko and I deposed her almost like crazy. I asked her from where did she get my name. From a list daw of graduates for the past two years. For what position was the exams for? Sales department. Now came my offense. First, I told her in my most inhibited tone that I did not pass any resume, neither did I submit any letter of intention to apply. Secondly, and most importantly, I'm already in my third year in law school and I expect to graduate two years from now. Good thing I held my tongue back from lashing that she should have done her research first. I wasn't trained by the Justices to do sales work. I did not spent my waking hours and sacrificed my sleeping hours just to become an out-bound agent. You have a term for that. UNDEREMPLOYED. If you asked me instead for a position in the legal department or HR (which I would have gladly replaced you), I would have considered.

Carol was amused and bewildered by what I did. But she knows that what I did was right. I didn't get this far just to slow down. There's no more turning back at this point.

Now, I would gladly ask you to badger, vex or tantalize me for passing upon such opportunity. Hahahaha! But I have my eyes set on the things that I really want in my life.