Acting out of league

okay. this is the worst that I've ever done my entire life in law school.

I've ACTED. On Stage. What Stage? The Medicine Auditorium. In front of Law Students... And Judge Aguinaldo.

One reason I took up Legal Management because I was not of the Acting breed. That is why I felt I desecrated the stage that where once Geng and a number of my friends in communication arts have spilled their blood and sweat for a performance worthy of praise. But I was not an actor. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Perdona me Señor! con la intercesion y rezos de los angeles y todos los santos. Me libra del mal, no pudarse me al infierno!

Of course, it was not serious acting. It was more of "Act-whatever-the-voice-on-microphone-says" kind of acting of what not. But still, I wasn't that prepared to face the public. At least in not that manner which I find humiliating in one way or another. I'm the guy who usually frequents the back stage years ago. Technical stuff. I am a declamer, and orator or what not or what is. But to mime a first year "ATENEO" college graduate who entered UST with all his pomp, glamor and freakish Atenean idiosyncracies... It was just a bad acting. (or so I think.) First. I am a true blue royal and pontifical blooded thomasian. I can speak in "slang" but I prefer not, 'coz in UST we have our own accent... Filipino English with a twist of regionalism of every sorts.

This I did 'coz I cannot fail the class. Grandis Rem was already pleading me. Our first deal was that I do just one part. I ended up doing almost everything because JOEY BAJAS did not show up. Ergo, I was the lead character, who although fantasizing of becoming a pornstar, loather myself for doing 'it' (or at least 'bastardizing' for the sake of comedy).... how do you imitate or mimic the aggravating circumstance of ignominy?! for the sake of the non-legalese speakers... it means something like this... when you commit rape, with the offender on top, that is just simple rape. The aggravating circumstance of ignominy comes in when you rape doing the dog style in committing the rape. That is the simplest definition or explanation of it all. So? how was I supposed to mimic that?!!

In the most frequently used ilocano word of Justice Bersamin... "YOT." (use your imagination)

With that, Grandis just sold his soul to the devil. I am the devil. Now. That is the price of politics in law school. And one day, I intend to get the favor back.

And as for you Joey Bajas... do not hide behind your fraternity brothers. Because I will hunt you down like a sewer rat. You just made your life more miserable.

Well, this is just all rantings. I didn't like the aftermath. I didn't enjoy the acting part. But I enjoyed the DARE. Just proves that I've got the balls to surpass that.

Maybe the reason why I'm feeling like this is because I'm a perfectionist. I take everything seriously and I always keep my reputation well oiled. I felt like I've smeared everything that I wrote down on my tabula rasa three years ago. And somehow I'll be a little paranoid for a while. As we say in AB... MAG HARAKIRI KA NA LANG!

But the consequences of it, I feel will be fruitful. Politically for me. I've got a quite a few on my list whom I shall extort somehow in the future, whether immediate or relatively distant. Opportunista kumbaga. But not in the 'negative' manner. It's just survival. If you do a favor for someone, or at least, if you've already reached a certain level of notoriety, then, you have the upper hand, even though in slight.

Rem just said "Enjoy it! Just have fun." I didn't. I can't. It's against my nature to be on stage. It has brought shame upon this House. (NOT!) But what the fuck... I'm a sadomasochist, and somehow, in an eerie way, I've enjoyed the challenge.

Now I can't sleep, because paranoia has set in. I hear people whispering already. I have already breached the narrow line between genius and insanity.

But on a positive note, it was an experience of a lifetime.

But I ain't gonna do that anytime soon... unless it is so well prepared and scripted. :-)