de profundus clamo ad te domine...

I've made my first appearance as a paralegal at the Committee Hearing in Navotas yesterday. If I'd rate myself from 1 to 10. I'd give myself a seven. I went on smoothly except for a few rough edges, voice faltering and sentences ending with conjunctions instead of a period. It made me proud. I was speaking in representation of my grandmother. Now she has a first-hand experience of what I've been preparing for all these years.

Also, I fucking hate that lesbian Business Permits and License Officer who keeps on interjecting (to which I replied with all my legal prowess with great authority, summoning the Holy Names of Sandoval, Agcaoili, Herrera and Lazaro-Javier. Amen!). Dear, I have a penchant for lesbian ladies. You maybe a lesbian but you're not a lady. The fuck should you answer that you have a sworn investigation blah-blah-blah to support the fucking letters. You have nothing to support in the first place. Since they are mere letters, not complaints subscribed and sworn and under oath. Don't mess with me with your limited knowledge and unmeritorious opinions. I'm a paralegal. You're just a Civil Servant with a Salary Grade of who knows what. Do not try to outsmart me you dumbass, cause I always have the last word. I should know, I'm a paralegal. I know the law, you only know the rules. Between the two, I have the upper hand.

This matter is getting worse than I thought it would. Now, two local government units concerned are involved. We are just caught in the middle. This is your fault Mr. G and Mr. I! We were living in peace for a long time, we were not minding your business. Then you start messing with us. You shouldn't have made the bid in the first place, cause we have no interest of bidding against yours. We just want our peace and livelihood. You keep yours. We keep ours.

Mr. G, don't tell me you know the law. Do not explain to me the meaning of executive and legislative departments. Well, I have to admit, I have camouflaged myself as an average college student. It's alright to tell me that you are right. But we are right too. Now, who's right? Don't even tell me that your daughter-in-law is a lawyer. I don't fucking care. That's not how you win the game. You make your lawyer play. It's performance my kind sir, not the title, not the brand. Please know that I can read between the lines. You have subliminally admitted to me that you apparently have power over your councilors there. Even when you claim that you're right, you play very, very dirty. Napaka-pangyayaring kagawad ka naman pala! Pasensya ka at binabangga mo si Boyong Manalac. The real Boyong Manalac --- not Eddie Garcia.

We will play the game cleanly. Strike as much as you want. One day, the Malabon river will swallow up all your pride, and wash down your already tarnished integrity to the depths of the turbid Manila Bay.

You will fall. You will fall.

I haven't sleep good all week. I couldn't even have my siesta. It's all because of the mental anguish and emotional distress that this is causing. I have not even had my morning joggings for a week! Well, stress with compensate for that. Vacation seems like a home study and an on-the-job training. I've made my appearance pro bono et amore, de gratis . If not for our sufferable financial standing, I should have asked for at least two thousand bucks from the paterfamilias as spoilage fee (I'm a spoiled brat a long, long time ago.)

These are the two years of our lives which are harshest economically, and now --- legally and politically. These are not the best times. I even can't help my tears from welling up sometimes because of the situation, I just beat my chest or arm to toughen me up. If I was to hit something, better that it be me, rather some innocent door, table, chair or what is and what not.

I cannot escape this. This is already a responsibility imposed by blood and fate. Seems like my brother, though knowing of some current conditions, is somewhere within the plane of blissful innocence. In short, wala siyang pakialam, at wag na siyang makialam. It is not necessary for him to endure the mental and emotional battle going on within all of us.

Returning to law school would seem to be the best remedy for me. I shall coin it as Legal Escapism.

Similia Similibus Curantur.

Similar things cure similar things.

But there is a metaphysical, astrological and cosmological aspect to all of these. As much as a small worm withers, dies and destructs, caved, enclosed in an inescapable tomb, it struggles violently to break free. Changing into a beautiful fluttering creature. As much as the phoenix burns and rises from the ashes, so shall we. Even the serpent which in Christian symbology is a Satanic creature, is also a symbol of renewal, as is slowly and painfully wriggles out of its old skin.

So shall we. Maybe stars are truly so aligned to create this conflict. We are all experiencing evolution and enlightenment of the Aquarian Age. The Piscean Age is ending. We are probably already in the threshold of the Messianic Age. The age of the old order is fading away. (Take note, the earliest Christian symbol of Christ is the fish. The Christian era is the Piscean Age) The pope is dead. The Prince of Monaco is dead. Prince Charles Married Camilla. Oil prices are jacked up faster than the barrels could be delivered to the consuming states. Hell, this is not a doomsday hearsay! This world is not gonna end and be destroyed. Such will not happen. It is only in the order of creation-ing. It is Ein Sof.

Enough of my heresy. I'll go back to realism.

Tomorrow I'll meet up with my bestfriend. At least I'll have a short reprieve from the maddening events of true life.