feigning reality and cowering

i feel so compelled to write about the recent developments in our lives, while the relaxing and slightly narcotic after effect of valium keeps my mind floating in a semi-dreamlike state.

first, ariel's apartment in pasay city was burned to the ground. nobody got hurt 'cause they we're all in their offices when the fire broke out. it was a terrible, terrible thing to happen, they've gotten no chance to save any personal property. so he asked if he could sleep over for the night here at my crib, so we met up at seattle's best, carrying his new and only material possessions --- SM bags of one new set of clothes for one office day. so i did all what i could to give him aid. well actually, he wasn't at all sad or what... nanghihinayang lang sila sa mga gamit. mas kawawa yung landlord at mga kapitbahay nila, na dun na talaga nakatira. i said to myself, this guy is catastrophic, meaning, he survived major events in his life, first, he and his siblings were children of the lahar --- and now this... i couldn't imagine myself in either situation.

i couldn't well tend to him cause i was very busy yesterday tending to personal family business, as usual, i've acted as the servant-cum-paralegal-cum-all-around agent. morning, we went to the City Hall for business. then for damn negligent reasons of one of the Councilor's staff, he said it's all good, blahblah, pero kulang pa pala yung requirements, then i have to juggle several errands before i could attend to my next meeting in navotas municipal hall this time.

i can't believe, i have to feign, or rather misrepresent myself as an employee of the Office of the Ombudsman, just to get a Barangay Clearance for my grandfather from Barangay Captain Kotong. actually, i'm becoming quite good at politicking. fuck! my dad might be really correct... it's fucking genetic! shit! still, i'm not fully depraved of mind, i have to confess to someone. so, i've texted Rhollie, my classmate, who is indeed an employee of the Office of the Ombudsman about my misrepresentation, ayos lang daw, tama lang yung ginawa ko 'cause by feigning my identity i've prevented a corrupt act from happening. Hmmm, mag-apply na rin kaya ako dun, at magsasama kame na isang battaliong mga UST lawyers dun.

then, 3pm, my meeting with Navotas Councilors, which was initiated by the letter complaint by Jorge Gozon, our business rival. i was there acting in representative capacity for my grandad. as in fuck one versus seven people. that fucking councilor cesar santos was grilling me, and with all might i fended off his blows. thought, basically, it is inevitable that i will lose not by chance, but because it was already predestined. duh! territoryo nila yun eh at baraha nila. ayos lang, sige, mainis kayo sa aken, makulitan kayo. ganun talaga eh. my throat was already dry, my lips are chaffed white. but shit, i didn't feel any fear. instead, i felt i was in actual battle, valiantly defending our cause. it was my first major joust with a lawyer. after the meeting, the hand shakes we're exchanged. i was surprised that atty. santos extended his hand first to me. it was a sign of mutual respect. he treated me as an equal. it is the unspoken law of lawyers, a code of professionalism known as judicial and legal conduct. within the meeting we we're in adverse positions --- rivals. but after the battle, although we are not friends, we have conducted ourselves honorably and rendered mutual respect. i know, it sounds weird, but by facing those people all by myself, i felt a wonderful sensation of inner strength, that no matter what happens, if we lose our business, i've gained professionalism and another set of wisdom. obviously, although we're still in a rut, i already foresee what will happen in the future, and i feel it will be peaceful.

Peace, make haste, fly swiftly with the summer winds and settle the turbulent waters and calm the storm. Peace.