the miracle of valium

I finally broke down to tears. I was sobbing, my nose clogged in the nastiest way ever. I was already thinking irrationally. I let my emotions take over. I was already thinking of giving up. After gathering my thoughts, and after assurances from the Blue Eagle, who now comes with the Oblationist.

I was brought back to my senses. My baptism of fire wasn't a matchstick flame. It was a white flame. The hottest kind of fire.

I was further reassured by my dad's words of wisdom. Truly, it was a splendid moment of enlightenment. Now I know why people bribe, give gifts, ask favors et al. It is conventional and pragmatic wisdom. Now I am a day wiser. One day, the small things that you do, would reap fruit, unknowingly and so. I shall testify to the truism of the saying: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. I also now understand why the masses vote for the movie stars, for the uneducated sorts. I now know why the presidents of yore were regal and kingly, while the heads of states of today must resort to such antics.

I now know not to retreat in the midst of threats and harassments. For it means that the enemy is already scared. I have also reinforced my believe never to retreat. Stand your ground, fight to the finish.

Okay, I admit, my manhood was deeply challenged with this week's events. I became a whining child once again. For 30 minutes I was a crybaby. Though sometimes, we need to cry to let out all the pent-up emotions. If these are not expelled in time, it will work against your favor. Never show your enemy your weakness.

I've also learned that I might end up one day in the political arena. It seems that it was preordained. As my dad says, he hated it at first. He also didn't like the way my grandpa was giving gifts and granting favors to so and so. Now he understood after being in his current job in the lower echelons of the governmental snakepit.

I was disillusioned by the beautiful laws created by the same snakes who run congress.

Now I am wiser a day longer, a star brighter and a night darker.

I am currently drugged with valium. I succumbed to my grandma's insinuations since she herself was worried that I wasn't sleeping well for one week. Well, I have to drug myself once in a while, since beer couldn't cure it, then let the white little tablet do the magic.

Dad said that politics is in the Bernardo genes. I looked up and saw my great grand dad's portrait, and I also saw in my mind the image of the great-grand patriarch Don Simeon. If this is the legacy and the change that all of this conflict shall bring. So be it. I will not hate politicking anymore, instead, I shall play it to my advantage. Dad said you'd know that you've been given the gift if you could convince people with your speeches, which I unwittingly do at times. And just this day, I've convinced our nemesis to trust me. I was a good listener. I said what he wanted to hear. I played him. I shook his hand.
In this moment of my narcotic nirvana, I now know, I have the gift. I am a lawyer with a politician's blood. They have a term for that in the bible --- Nephalim --- the child begotten by the sons of God and the Daughters of Men. Half angels – half human. I'm like such. Demigods.

This is my first writhing out of the old skin. It's inevitable. I'll be the romantic bohemian dirty player and seeker of justice and money.

I became wiser this day. And wisdom is something that cannot be truly expressed in words. This I say, so completely inadequate to describe my soul feel right now. It is wisdom.