Homicidal Maniac from THE Ateneo

Never in my entire history was I ever called by the Guidance Counselor. What more if it you were called when you’ve already had a Bachelor’s Degree and a quasi-lawyer capable enough to ratiocinize everything.

Here’s what’s happened.

Tuesday night, as Jewel and I returned to the classroom after our yosi break, Ador and Carol told me Ma’am Anna Aguinaldo (no way related to Judge Aguinaldo… or so they say.), the Guidance Counselor was looking for me. So, in all good faith and lack of knowledge as to why I am being hailed, I went up to the mezzanine and entered her office. Having in mind probably, that she would ask me WON (whether or not) I’m interested in taking the ‘career choices’ exams or what not. So she asked me, like thus: “So, how is your relationship with your classmates?”

“Ok lang.”

“Do you have any difficulties with any of them?”

This time, having in mind my present class 3B, thus I stated: “Ayus lang, although still adjusting ‘coz maraming bagong classmates, at meron din mayayabang, but still civil and casual pa naman kame.”

“Do you have anyone in mind in particular?”

Then it seemed I know where this is going to.

“Uhm, wala naman masyado. Except for… Lauron.”

“Lauron?”

“Manuel Patrick.”

“So how was he?”

“Ok lang, we’re civil naman.”

“Do have anything against him?”

“Wala naman, except for the attitude. Many of us think so of the same. Even our professors.”

And thus, name dropping, I said it included Atty. Edwin Ray Sandoval, his most staunch critic.

“Ok, so it seems kasi that he has something against you about your presentation last Friday.”

“Ah ok. I thought so. But it wasn’t intentional. I didn’t write the script and I was just doing it for our class.” (and in my mind, for the sake of classroom politics)

So with that she scheduled an appointment for yesterday around 5pm. For our ‘Confrontation’.

But beforehand, that night, I saw Lauron and approached congenially and tried to settle the matter amicably. To which he gloated at me and screamed “PUMASOK KA SA LOOB NG CLASSROOM MO!” while squeezing tightly my arm. Had he struck first, then I have a reason to strike back. A valid self-defense.

Wednesday. I was almost loaded, and was ready to strike him in the face the moment I see him. But when the guidance counselor opened the door she immediately placed herself in a chair between us. I was met with such sweet words like: “PUTANG INA MO KA! HAYOP KA! PUÑETA!”… and all cuss words known to the Urban Dialect. I especially liked this one: “You know what, I wanted to bash your head so badly that you’re not going to remember your name!”

Haha! As if you can. With you’re skinny loser ass. I doubt you could even touch a single hair on my head. I’m physically bigger and stronger than you are. Lame-o.

His contention… The presentation. More specifically this part: “Hi I’m Chi Ming Tsoi from the Ateneo.” “From Ateneo?” “No sir. From THE Ateneo. THE Ateneo.” (For more specific details see blog entry entitled ‘ACTING OUT OF LEAGUE’) (Btw, the Chi Ming Tsoi character is a guy with a three inch erect penis. A case studied for grounds for annulment of marriage, and a lawyer’s joke for male impotency.) And to think of it, I was the guy subjected to the humiliation, not him.

I told him let’s settle this like lawyers. To which he responded, like somehow, puta, hindi ko feel na maging abugado blahblahblah.

He couldn’t state his Cause of Action against me. Well, even though he didn’t take up civil procedure any law school kid knows what a COA is.

Now came in my lambasting.

“First, did the voice over ever mention your name? No. Second, was there any sufficient indication in my actions that it was you I was imitating? None. Third, did the common audience immediately identify you during the presentation. No. Therefore what is there to talk about? You’re just being PARANOID.”

I should have told him that he should have taken Criminal Law 2 a THIRD time. The elements of libel weren’t present. Therefore, legally speaking, there need no be a trial on the merits, but a Motion to Dismiss, and that ends everything.
But madam guidance wanted to dig in deeper. Ok. Fine.

“You know what…” I said. “I don’t like you. Nobody likes you!”

“Yeah, I know!” he exclaimed. (At this juncture I should have said, ‘So what’s left to be discussed?’)

But obviously his hatred for me was an extreme hang-up. He admitted that it wasn’t just me. It was EVERYBODY. And so I became his object of hatred since I was the most outspoken person in class. That every time we laugh he thinks we’re all laughing about him. Goodness! His paranoia exudes the whole room that it stinks so badly. He began to tear up.

And so forth during the confrontation he said. “You don’t know my problems!”

“You’re not the only ones with problems. I have problems, ma’am Anna has problems!”

For a 27 year old person he was just damn emotionally unstable. And I pity him. If I ever end up with a fist fight with him, it’s not worth it. It’s pathetic. I find no noble reason to do so.

Previously before that encounter. It was already the talk of the town in their class. Na nagpa-guidance siya. So, thanks to my friends, whom I share mutual dislike for him, the demolition job began.

Many saw him to be so pathetic. The Ordo boys were already laughing and joking in his presence, “Uy, wag kang ganyan baka ipa-guidance ka, ipatawag pa magulang niyo.” Mike Vargas already knew it, and I assume that Lauron is already on the hit list of Suprema, aside from the other people from Aegis and Gamma, and of course, the wrath of Astrea Sorority courtesy of Divi, who disliked him even more.

CJ already talked to Ferry and suggested that Joey take the blame (some sort of ‘assignment’) so that the Aegis has a reason para mabugbog na si Lauron.

They all came to me and asked what happened in the counselor’s office. All of them saying: “Putang inang Lauron yan! Ang kapal ng mukha niyan! Sira talaga ulo nun!”

And as for Joey, since he is not yet totally forgiven for what he did. I might have something for him to do. Hahaha! Nah. I cannot burden him with such tasked of killing Lauron, he’s inept at the skills of frat wars. And friends do not use their friends. If they intend to kill him, it must be voluntary. Hehehe.

But to all of us sane and rational people, we have reached the conclusion that he has a lot of hang ups. He seemed to be the weakling, the laughing stock of everybody since his Ateneo days. And he is blaming all this on me, as representative of the whole lot.

Everybody must face his or her own demons as a man (or as a woman). He couldn’t. He’s a weakling. He’s pathetic. He’s a loser. He must be destroyed lest he spread his unworthy seed and multiply his specie. It is in no way proper for a person to act as such. I cannot pity him really, because he brought this to himself. Law school is a dangerous world. You must be strong and aggressive if you want to survive. And your greatest rival is yourself. Not others.

Now, I may sound like an uncaring heartless asshole for this, but this is reality on one hand. My compassion is for those who have compassion for themselves. Maybe if he started to act normal, he wouldn’t have been in such a predicament and become the laughing stock of everybody. Maybe if he’d stop wearing a ball cap and spiked wristbands while his long sleeved barong buttoned up to the neck, we’d consider him as normal. May be if he’d stop wearing that ‘Ghost rider’ jacket. Maybe if he’d stop talking that way, we’d consider him as normal.

Maybe if he’d stop cussing and stops using the words “Bayag” “Puke” et al during reports and recitations, we’d call him normal.

But he can’t. He couldn’t disappear into the crowd, neither could he blend in. Everybody knows na may sayad siya sa utak. To name a few, Atty. Edwin Ray Sandoval, Undersecretary Josephus Jimenez, Atty. Arnold Cacho, ASG Amy Javier, Justice Oswaldo Agcaoili, Atty. Arlene Maneja, to name a few; and the multitude of us who had to endure him every day. Not to mention the fact that he doesn’t take a bath nor does he brush his teeth every Saturday when we have early morning or early afternoon classes.

So who could blame us?

He has a lot of hang-ups, and he cannot blame us normal people.

Doesn’t he have any outlet? He should try knitting, cross stitching, jigsaw puzzles, masturbation or what not.

He’s just one sick, lame, pathetic man.